Jesus is the Hope of Glory

Saturday, August 6, 2011

I'm Looking For Something


Hi All...

I know, it has been a LOOOONG TIME... It's about 3am, I'm doped up on prednisone which has the propensity to keep me awake for days, with my arm in a sling, (shark week has gone off for the night- bummer) - so I said, "Hey, let's blog"... LOL

I'm looking for something...

You may have seen it, you may have not,  uh... IDK... I feel like some of you, if I stop you on the street and ask for directions- that you will be "that guy" that sends me all around Jacobs barn to get there... You ever met someone like that?? Sure you haven't! Because it's you!!!  LOL- (a little 3am humor).

I don't know, sometimes I seem to find it- but then it eludes me, quickly in the night...  My GPS can't find it.  I have the field trip version GPS anyway.  You know how you can check the settings and it will say, "Fastest Route", or or or, "Quickest Time"?  - I feel like my GPS is stuck on "FIELD TRIP" or "Scenic Route" or something...

I just recently moved to a new state- so my GPS and I have been having it out- LOL.  I shouldn't say new state.  I moved back to where I'm from, just a new city.  New beginning, new start and NEW JOB!

Which brings me back to what I'm looking for...

So, I have this new job, which is HIGHLY demanding.  It is more demanding than any other job I have ever had.  The benefits are going to be great, and the hard work will surely pay off... Just need to find this thing..    Have you seen it?  It looks something like this:::::



Yep.  I cursed... LOL...

I have found myself very quickly in the throws of life and it is not always easy or as simple as we may want/need it to be.  Handling a rigorous masters program, demanding job, establishing relationships, reconnecting with family and just trying to live... I found out very quickly, that there are not enough hours in the day.  I'm going to be transparent.  Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, that I SOMETIMES (not all the time) --- SOMETIMES, just choose not to do it.  As if it is going to go away... LOL

You know, that whole "peeping around the corner thing"- looking to see if what you are avoiding is still alive... LOL- Well, maybe you don't do it.  Maybe it's just me.

Buuuuut I don't think that it is.  I mean, it's funny.  Because I have more to do now, and I'm not even working in ministry- which is weird... But I can't imagine throwing that into the pot right now.  But I'm going to have to imagine.  Yes I am a worshipper, and that doesn't mean you only have to worship in church.  But I need an outlet- I gotta have something to do to RELEASE what is going on up in this spirit of mine!

 <----That's me...

I'm not frustrated that I'm not singing right now, it is just that I need to grab ahold of life and wrangle that joker in.  Isn't that the life of a virtuous woman?  She cooks for her family, she works hard, and she makes sure she creates from her increase.  She stocks up, she's a business woman, a woman of ministry to her family, her husband and to her Lord.  All that in one day! LOL!  IT CAN BE DONE...   A Virtuous Woman's worth is far above rubies.

I'm also a spiritual mom.  A job that I take very seriously- raising a young lady to be the woman God called her to be.  It's a big job and requires time.  Being a "God Mom" is no easy task, but again, the reward of seeing someone's life be changed, and see them walk in their destiny- is worth every moment.



That's her right there ------------->>>>>>

And she lives with me!!!! LOL- So I'm not the call on the phone in the midnight hour kind of mentor.  I'm more of that 24 hour kind... LOL

A good friend once said to me.  "Sometimes you are called to "do life" with others, and when you are called to that- you just walk through it.  Everyone is not going to always understand.

I also have one baby that I left in Richmond (THAT I AM SUPER PROUD OF)) that I need to talk too... So if she is reading this- she needs to give a sistah a call!!!! LOL!  - I'm not gonna put you on blast in the blog, I know you are busy :)

What I have learned from this about others is that some will hate, some will talk, some will despise and try to destroy, some will support, some will undergird and push you forward.  There is always a choice of who to focus on.

So I have alot going on.  It's not alot of irons in the fire, but the irons that are in there- require alot of DETAILED work.  I didn't even mention maintaining old friendships (because I moved away)- the group I sing with, the new friends/relationships, the new ministry endeavors,------------- the list does not end.

But to whom much is given, much is required.  ((SO SUCK IT UP-))- lol

SO NOW...  There you have a small portion of why I'm looking for something...

It is very important that you learn to balance them all.  I was in church Sunday, and the pastor was preaching.  He said something along the lines of, "You are not great if you are great in church and not great in your home".

So many homes are in disarray, discombobulation, and disorder because they are fighting to be someone in the church- and are not even priests in their own home.  Who cares if you have people that honor you at church and your own children despise you?  A virtuous woman's children rise and call her BLESSED.  At least thats what MY bible says.

[caption id="attachment_374" align="aligncenter" width="259" caption="A WORD TO THE WISE"][/caption]

A WORD TO THE WISE


Stop despising all that you are required to do.  Just because you have alot to do, does not mean it is not of God.  There is such a thing as "busy work"- but it is between you and God and your mentor's what you should and should not be doing.  Make sure your motives are right as to why you are doing what you are doing, and do it to the best of your ability.  TRUST ME- you cannot despise the laundry list- you must attack it with grace and be honored that God chose you-. AGAIN, to whom much is given, much is required.   Work hard to eliminate distractions....



[caption id="attachment_375" align="aligncenter" width="224" caption="Facebook Junkie"][/caption]

LOL- This picture needs to also say Iphone.  I was supposed to get my Ipad this weekend... SHOOT- it's tax free weekend! LOL- but I have so much on my plate right now, that lesson plans, the chapters for school, the chapters for work that are supposed to be read, the goals I'm supposed to be setting would quickly be forgotten once I got my new toy! LOL- I'm going to get one- sho' nuff.  Jesus clicked my "like" button, so I'm not worried about that.  I just chose to be a big girl and wait until I get settled before I get a new toy.  *not easy being mature* - LOL.


SO- there you have it folks.  BALANCE.  Oh!  Did I mention leave time to have fun?  Hang out? Take in the sites?  You go right on ahead and spend your days and nights in church if you want too.  You will despise it once you realize there is no reward for that.  Only what you do for CHRIST will last, not to please others.  ((That's another blog))-- CHECK YOUR MOTIVES PEOPLE.  That's all I'm saying.


Pray With Me.


Wait... First listen to this....





Sing this song over yourself, over your situation, over your to-do list,over everything...  It will bring peace..






Now we can pray...


God, I thank you that you reign.  That you have given me much because you trust me.  Help me to see my life through your eyes to know that what is going on in my life is simply to bring you glory.  I won't be overwhelmed, your word says in Psalms 61:2 that I can come to the rock that is higher than I.  Your word also lets me know in Psalms 91 that I can dwell in the safe place, the secret place.  God draw me to your secret place.  Holy Spirit, speak and give me strategy for my life so that I may be that Virtuous Woman, or that Man of Valor and manage my home and life in excellence.  I give it all to you.  Thank you that I am safe with you Lord to make mistakes.  Thank you for grace.  Change my perspective so that I can see how you have honored me with such great Kingdom Assignments.  I don't take it likely, and I repent for despising them or complaining about them.  I love you Lord, show me balance.


In Jesus Name.


Be Blessed, and Keep the King first.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Power of Love Languages


Love languages are very key to functional relationships.  I have been talking to some people who know more about the subject than I do, and feel it necessary to share what I have learned.  There are 5 love languages.  I will put the description of each language below.  This information comes straight from the website--- below the test, I will talk about what happens when you don't receive love in your particular language.
Read over them, take the test and then come back and read the rest of it!!!
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WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
QUALITY TIME
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
RECEIVING GIFTS
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter
PHYSICAL TOUCH
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
So now, you have read the descriptions... Do you think you know what yours is???  Go ahead and take the test, and we will meet back here shortly!
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
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Is your love language what you thought it was??  Good information right??  It's also good for others to know this about you - so they won't keep hugging you to show you love when acts of service touches your heart more than anything.  Now, love languages are NOT just for marriage/boyfriend, girlfriend relationships.  They are for family roles, friendships, coworkers, ministry and everywhere else you interact with people on a consistent basis.
Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, that doesn't mean it is someone who is seeking out a compliment.  If this is you and you don't properly receive it as a child, it can cause wounds.  A child with this love language can recover easily from living an impoverished life if they have loving affirming parents. Verbally abusing a person with this love language does great damage.  Thank God that he is a healer, but it will take reprogramming, new behaviors and the word of God to reteach the person who they really are.
Quality Time:  If this is your love language, and you don't properly receive it as it child, it can cause insecurity and abandonment issues.  A person whose love language is quality time can't handle a parent that works two jobs and weekends.  Having nice things without parents don't mean much to them.  Dysfunctional families are a detriment to a person with the love language of quality time.  This is because the time spent together is spent in dysfunction, which will warp the perception of what quality time means.  God gives us our love language, we don't decide it; and just because you don't receive it correctly doesn't make it change.
Receiving Gifts:  As stated above, someone who has this as a love language isn't materialistic or a gold digger.  It's just their love language.  A child with this love language can live in a family that is well to do and have nice things, have absent parents and not be AS affected as a child with affirmation or quality time as their love language.  Gifts can be small thoughtful tokens of appreciation.  Something that shows that you put thought and effort into it.  Simple things that say, "You thought about ME".
Acts of Service:  This is not a person that desires a slave, but doing small things that help them out really shows you love them.  A child that has this love language will thrive in an environment where a parent or sibling will ask them if they need help with their homework.  A mother that has this love language will love a husband that meets her at the car when she has gotten groceries without asking.  Coming home and the house is clean without being prompted- things like sing sweet melodies in the ear of someone with this love language.
Physical Touch: A person with this love language is touchy feely.  We all know those people.  They are huggers! A child who has this love language and is physically abused will take longer to recover than a child who has another love language.  They will recover because God is a healer, but touch equates to love- bad touch or good touch.  The mind, the body and the emotions will have to be retrained to understand that bad touch or being hit- doesn't mean love.
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NOW!  If you know your love language, and did not receive love in your love language, there is always hope.  This was not to point out what is "WRONG" with life, this is to maybe help answer questions of why certain things can't heal, or why certain things bother you.  It is extremely important to know your love language.  It is important for those around you to know your love language.  It will only enhance your relationships.  Oh to be loved how you were designed!  Wouldn't that be awesome???
Don't fault the people who love you like they need to be loved.  They may love you according to THEIR love language, and just need to learn that we are all different.  I think that in the church this is something that is necessary.  We talk, treat, and preach to everyone as if they can receive and love the same, and they can't.  Pass this information on to your coworkers, your families, close friends and even your enemies-- LOL...
Pray With Me.
God, thank you for creating me so unique.  Thank you for revealing my love language so that I can know how I should be loved.  Thank you that YOU speak my love language!  I pray that you help me to love others according to their love language.  Help me to enhance my relationships by using this tool so that they are functional.
Thank you,
In Jesus Name...
Amen..
*****coming soon, the APOLOGY LANGUAGE!  Did you know that there was such a thing?  WOW!  When I found mine out, it made "me" make so much sense! LOL- This is very important in relationships- to know your apology language.  Powerful stuff..
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God Bless!  And Keep the King First...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

It's OKay To Be Me.


As the days literally are dwindling down, I find myself reflecting quite a bit. Reflecting on my years here in Richmond, life before Richmond, and what life will be like after Richmond.
Now, I know what your thinking... WHAT does this have to do with being a worshipper? Well- lets just see, may be nothing - LOL...
I realize some things about myself. It's okay to be me. It may not meet the approval of some. I may not be the right size, or have the right credentials, or enough of this- or enough of that. But I have exactly what I am supposed to have, why? Because my Father made me. 
It's okay to be me.... I love HARD, I try hard, I'm an optimist, I'm serious about ministry, but more serious about the heart of people who are hurting. I'm passionate about people being who they are created to be.
It's okay to be me... I'm sometimes... well... A LOT of the times... I'm silly... I love to laugh- I laugh at my own jokes when no one else does- I think I'm a riot! LOL

It's OKay To Be ME. I don't have to wonder, I don't have to ask, I don't have to compete with anyone for anything. I don't have to have wrong motives, I don't have to put anyone down in order to get myself up. I don't have too, because that's not who I am.
I can be sensitive, I can sometimes need closure, I can be confused at times. But it's okay, because its okay to be ME.
I can walk in integrity, and be okay with it. I can have all that God promises in His word, and be content if it never comes my way. I'm not one to desire fortune or fame- If God allows it - then fine. But I don't sing to get noticed. I don't blog to be famous. I don't do what I do to be recognized. I don't need a following.
It's okay to be me. Sometimes I can feel insecure because I'm stepping into new territory. That's okay. I can question God because He is dealing with a flawed person. I can live a life of pursuit and not striving. I can unapologetically sing with everything that I have and the glory of God manifest, and be okay with that- Thats who I am...
It's okay to be me. I love it when someone cries in my arms, and I can feel the Lord bringing healing to old wounds. I love it when I sing, and I can feel heaven smiling on me. I love it when someone can walk in freedom, even if it's just one thing that I sang, did- or even- decided NOT to do.
It's okay to be ME. You see, I'm saying all of this because I have dealt with many things that tried to tell me that being ME was the wrong thing to be. I have allowed others being intimidated by me (not because I tried to intimidate them) work its way into my heart, and cause my light to dim. I have allowed the lack of approval from those that were SUPPOSED to give it to me, crush my confidence.
**push pause-- I have been learning a lot reading my psychology books. Did you know that WITH HOLDING affirmation and validation in relationships when you hold the majority of the power is a form of control? Yeah, that's why they don't give it to you. Because then you will always do everything you can to please the person, and seek their approval even though you don't think that's your motive. See, God set it up, people are SUPPOSED to validate and affirm us. Young ladies with affirming fathers are more confident. Young men with validating parents are more precise. Why? Because they are always sure that SOMEONE believes in them.-- So if you are in a church, relationship, friendships or whatever- where no one can see the God in you and AFFIRM you into who you are- then RUN... And find the place where they will pour the Fathers Love on you. God is all into the affirming business. Whoever started that stuff where they don't need anyone to affirm them was a LIE. A bitter, cold, wounded LIE. We all do. And when don't have it - we do arrive at our destination, but it takes longer, and the battle is stronger. You then have a choice. You can either perpetuate the cycle- or break it. The church has it wrong.  Validation/affirmation is not meant to puff people up.  That's why people give the excuse of why they don't give it.  Because it makes people prideful.  That's a hock of manure.  Pride makes people prideful.  Affirmation/validation gives glory to God- while opening the person's eyes to see themselves the way GOD see's them.  So that every step they take, their footing is precise, direct and SURE... Give someone their affirmation/validation that you OWE them today.**
It's okay to be me. I'm tough- I won't allow people around me to settle for being less than Christ-like. I don't judge, but I don't allow people to settle for less than God's best. Some, MANY have gotten mad because of that. Everyone isn't ready for the truth - everyone can't face the music- and everyone isn't ready to be honest with themselves. Sometimes I'M NOT either! LOL--
It's okay to be me... I'm tough, yet sensitive. Sometimes, people don't know how much I care because I feel if I show them, then it will be harder to handle if I lose them. It's not as hard for me to forget about those relationships that ended badly as it may be for some. I can move on- I can forgive, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the person. It's okay.... That's how God made me.
It's okay to be me. I used to be laughed at for my zeal, picked at because I was sensitive, and overlooked because I didn't look the part. I've been ridiculed for trying so hard, doubted for my faith - and rejected because of my purity. I've been used, abandoned, forgotten about- discounted, pushed back, stepped on top of, and everything else.
I've been lied on, lied to, stories twisted, and dismissed without a thought. I've been guilty of much of the same too - this is not a poor pitiful me story - by any means.
My glasses can be cloudy sometimes, my discernment questionable every now and then... Does that make me less? No, that just makes me human. Perfectly flawed and loved by God. I don't have to be apart of manipulation to gain authority... I don't have to succumb to those that will only approve me if I do what they want. I don't have to be held to who I used to be. I don't and I won't.
It's okay to be ME. And you know, its okay for me to be loved, in word, in deed... By family, by friends... its okay to be alright with life- and pursue God and make the plans and follow them  through. I am one of those people who am learning to be affirmed by my Father. My earthly father NEVER did. I don't know if he knows how to. But I know that God will give me the desire's of my heart. I desire a father. Whether it be earthly or spiritual, my Father in heaven will grant my request. It may be my future husbands dad, or I may be apart of a ministry where I am Fathered, but I know that God is going to give me the Father that I need. No more cold distant non-affirming dads for me.  That doesn't build my confidence.  That doesn't help me grow...Until then- I love me, I keep smiling being me, and I walk - HEALED... because I am.
I refused about a month ago to be held to standards from people who don't see me for who I am. I refused to accept any form of abuse in the name of the Lord, or in the name of your insecurities. I'm not doing it. I don't thrive in dysfunction. I don't entertain it, I don't go around it- I don't live in it. I just don't.
It's okay to be ME.  I have million dollar ideas, and absolutely NO CLUE how to get them done.  I'm creative,  I'm a songwriter, a singer, an author, a blogger, love creating using technology--- I'm LOADED with talent.  And that's okay.  I used to post silly song video's on fb a lot.  I stopped because I felt judged by people.  Probably by people who can't do what I did.  I can't help that I can write a song using a ketchup bottle and a jar of pickles... That's a gift- for what you say?  Because I can write songs for plays.  No one has time for you to think for years of a song.  It's gotta come quick.  So if I have a silly song and I want to record it - and put it out there, if you're gonna be judgmental, just don't watch it- save me from deleting your comment. :)
Today, I love others regardless.  If I am forgotten about those that I've grown to love- then it's okay.  We hear a lot about making history... But even villains make history.  Just because people remember you, doesn't mean that heaven remembers you...My history in heaven may be greater than my history on earth-- and that's okay with me...  Today - I make a declaration.
It's OKay to be ME.
Pray with me...
Father, help me to see me as you see me.  I want to be okay with being me.  I want to change what you want to change, but how YOU want to change it - not by striving to live by a stringent set of rules, but by immersing myself in the love of God.  Show me where I have gone wrong with me.  Show me where my relationships need to be mended.  Give me strength to be who I am supposed to be regardless of who affirms me.  Put me in a culture of people who gladly validate me so that my footing can be more sure.  I'm free to love, I'm free to laugh, I'm free to celebrate who you made me.  Thank you for loving me the way that you do.  I don't always see your love, accept your love, or even GIVE your love the way that I should.  Thank you for grace.  Help me to grow in your love so that I am a well of God's goodness for others to draw from.  Thank you for being such a great Dad.
In Jesus Name...
Amen.
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Love and Motives


Picking up from where we left off a few days ago...
First let me say this... I've had a TREMENDOUS week of breakthrough...  Breakthrough that I have been praying for -- lets see... for years in some cases... When God does a thing, he does a thing WELL.  Hold on and be encouraged.  You may have some moments where you feel that God doesn't see or hear you... But hold on...  Just hold on...
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OKAY!  So TLOW family, lets work on our love walk.  Now, if not one person gets anything out of this but me- then I'm okay.  Because I am DETERMINED that my love walk honor God.  Does that mean I put up with everything?  Absolutely not... Does that mean that I won't set boundaries?  Surely not... But I will love, I will not walk in offense, I will not hold unforgiveness, I WILL NOT be led by my emotions... They are a tool for God to use for his glory, not the GPS for my life... So, this is for me too - gotta make sure I'm in LINE!
Lets roll...
Okay, so lets just be real.  There has been one time or another where our motives where not godly... There were times when we were looking out more for ourselves than for others...  There were times when we did things, or said things- KNOWING it would hurt someone else- because we know how it goes... "Hurt people, hurt people".

Its true...  We can all recall a time when we were on the "giving" end of the business... Where we were so offended or upset- that we just let someone have it.  There have also been times when we were affected by the actions of others- and you KNEW their motive was to hurt you.  You knew they wanted to hurt you - because THEY were hurting...
We sometimes don't remember how we dished it out now that it's time to take it... LOL...
Also, if you are always on the receiving end of the business- then it may be time to set some new boundaries in your relationship.  Constant abuse will cause you to have a "victims mentality"... You know when you are dealing with a victims mentality because it's always... "Why me"...  "When is it my turn"... "Everything good happens for everyone but me"...    We have to work hard to let those things go so that we can move forward.
I was talking to one of my ma-ma's, and she said this, "When you have forgiven or released someone, the thoughts against them will come back, but you have to remind that familiar spirit that you have released and forgive them, and you don't accept those thoughts about them- at all.  Eventually, it will stop".
I am a living witness of this.  I have been working in OVER-TIME the past few weeks to get my heart right with quite a few things.  Been working on ME.  Thats hard! LOL- can I get a witness????
I really feel that I have made tremendous head-way and that I am in a whole new season.  If that old stuff tries to come back, it will get dismissed with the quickness.  I am NOT going back to those places again - not doing it.
1 Corinthians 13:3
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Whoah...  It's just hitting head on isn't it?  This scripture is about MOTIVE.  It didn't say,  give my possessions to the poor and give my body,  I gain nothing... it says, if you do that - SO THAT YOU MAY BOAST... and you don't have love...
I am strong believer in giving.  Give to live.  I LOVE to give- in many ways-  there are many ways you can sow into the lives of others.  Financially may not always be available, but don't beat yourself.  Sow a phone call, sow some encouragement, sow an ear to listen to someone who needs to be heard.  Babysit for a couple who needs some get away time.  Call someone you know needs some assistance, and tell them you will come help them get organized.  Some ways to sow won't cost you anything but time.  Be creative- thats what I do anyway...
BUT... If you do all of that- and your goal is to boast ( Talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities) then, you have your reward...  Now, let's be honest... We are talking about MOTIVES right???  Just because you say, "God gets all the glory" - doesn't really mean that... But you knew that right??  Thats just like winning a BET award for your new song, "Slap dat Hoe in da Mouth"- and accepting the award thanking your Lord and Savior  Jesus Christ- because without him this would not be possible... LOL!  It's the truth!  If God is not in it - he's just not in it.   PEOPLE may be fooled with the whole, "Glory to God" thing, but Jesus knows the truth - AND  so do those that have discernment...
I'm just sayin.  Do all of that- you gain NOTHING.  Well, you may gain more stuff... More followers who want to believe that God is in it, but they see stuff- stuff is not always FRUIT.  Remember that...  Heaven holds your fruit.

What does your heavenly tree look like? 










I want my tree to have BIG FRUIT- so that just because people come near me, or have a simple conversation, they can get a nice, big, juicy piece of fruit off and just slurp it up!  Can you imagine sitting having a conversation with someone about the Lord, or just giving good wisdom, or just loving, encouraging or motivating them??  
I'll stop there for today... This is going to be a good series- we will start on the attributes of love on the next blog...
God Bless!  and Keep the King First...
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I Love You... Sike!



HUH?
I crack me up... Coming up with these titles are some times just as fun as writing them.  I love the word of God, it holds so much truth and value.  There has been an acronym given to it,

I agree totally with this, but disagree to some degree.  There is nothing basic about these instructions.  They are very intricate, detailed, given in grace and doable...  sometimes... maybe- well- YES!  DOABLE...
Today children, we are going to talk about love. I know, you know the scripture, love is patient, kind, ladi-dah- ladi-dah-- 1st Corinthians 13.  We are going to discuss that scripture, but we are also going to discuss others.
The love is God is paramount.  That's what todays blog was SUPPOSED to be about, but I realized something, we talk, sing, preach, and wear t-shirts ((yes I have one)) about the love of God but how often do we show it?  We SAY we do, but we are about to take a journey to analyze our actions to see if we are truly walking in love.
Christians can be the meanest people... LOL- But not us TLOW family!  We are going to walk through this thing, and allow the word to be a two edge word and cut the junk away so we can honor God.  We all thank God for grace, but do you continue in sin that grace may abound?  God forbid.  We get up on our stages, pulpits, our jobs, and we proclaim the love of God, but sometimes our actions, motives and behaviors say the COMPLETE  *touch your neighbor and say complete* OPPOSITE of what we are professing... Confusing folks- and you wonder why they won't get saved?  No- it is a wordly misconception that you must be perfect as a Christian, if you do one little thing, you are labeled a "hypocrite", I know, its terrible.  No room for error.  But we were already told that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.
Do the best you can, and show people that God still loves you even though you make mistakes, and even though you fall short.
So lets look at some scripture and have a good ole' down home bible study.
Here is our foundational scripture
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- By the end of these blogs, you will prayerfully ((me too)) understand what it means to love someone, because how you SHOW the love of God to others, is how people will know that you are a disciple of Jesus.  HOW YOU LOVE...
-Not by your T-shirts ((don't judge me)), your church attendance, how many friends you have, how much stuff you have, not how much stuff you DON'T have.  Not by what you drive, not by what you DON'T drive.  CLEARLY not based on how much you accomplish for the "kingdom"- or your church.
All of those things have their place- don't get it twisted- we need not be imbalanced or deceived.  But those things are not the sign on your forehead that says, "I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS CHRIST".  It's just not...
Here we go... step by step.  **DISCLAIMER** I'm not talking TO or about anyone specific.  WE ALL need to work on our love walks, especially as worshippers--- I'm going to step on YOUR toes- AND MINE!
#thankGodforGrace
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
-Now, have you ever heard a cymbal?  Sounds pretty good when it's played in concert with the other instruments.  But when you get a cymbal that is just rouge... just playing for no reason, no purpose, you know... CLANGING!  You just want it to shut up!---- Can you imagine your worship or your ministry sounding like that to heaven?  Can you imagine, you getting up to lead worship, minister, preach, teach, or whatever, the congregation is shouting you down, if you could get paid for every amen or every hand lifted in the sanctuary, you would be rich!!!  But heaven is like...  "What is that noise- oh my gosh!  Can you all turn that down please?????"...

yeah...  See we feel that we have "arrived" or accomplished something because the PEOPLE are pleased.  But you have to remember, if you are leading worship- many of them can get in the presence of God WITHOUT YOU... So though it's some sincere worship, don't pat yourself on the back juuuust yet.  Then you have the whole emotional card.  We all know how that goes...  What matters more than ANYTHING- is what does HEAVEN think about what you are rendering?   Would the angels want to join in with you singing?
Verse 2:If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
NOTHING???
hmm...   I don't even really know where to start with this one...  You must remember this... GOD LOVES HIS CHILDREN... and if your love walk is jacked up, he's going to deal with you --- but he shouldn't have to make EVERYONE suffer because you are out of line... Again, it's the benefit of the people that matters...  What does heaven think of you while you are releasing your prophetic words and teaching your mysteries...  Does heaven think you are somebody???  hmmm...
to people YES-- but who are you in heaven?
We will stop there for today... Its gonna be a wild ride- time to get right church!!!  LOLOL
God bless... and Keep the King FIRST...
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

You Offended Me


This will be quick... Well - maybe...

I just had a looooong conversation with someone I love, and someone who loves me.  Who keeps me straight- builds me up- tells me when I'm wrong- and helps me see the truth...  She said something very important.
It is very important to see people through the eyes of God.  Hurt people hurt people... This is something that we say, but it is very true.  When you look at others through God's eyes, it will wash all of the offense away..
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point.   I talked earlier this week about being seated in heavenly places.  I am going to take the charge to pray for those that I feel are trying to hurt me in some way, so that I don't receive the offense.
My old college pastor used to tell us all the time.  If you ask God to show you the heart of those that offended you, it will wash it away when you see the depth of their truth.  The truth is, when people lash out at you or try to bring you down, or get themselves promoted overtop of you - its their own insecurities and hurts that are the problem.
Don't be the victim and wonder why me... Because if it wasn't you, it would be someone else.  Take the time to sincerely pray for them.  Forgive them.  Release them.  Not saying its easy... Once you do, and the thoughts about them start to come up- say it again, I have forgiven them and release them- I don't receive these ungodly thoughts about this person.
This has been a real test for me in the past couple of weeks unlike I have experienced in a loooong time... LOL - it's actually kind of funny now that I look back.  I am not going to pretend like some of these things didn't bother me- because they did.  But what I WILL do is pray for those people, and ask God to show me their heart- so one, I can see their treasure.  Two, so that I can pray God heals them so they can stop hurting others...
In a blog on Monday, I talked about playing hurt or playing injured.  Some refuse to believe that their arm is dislocated, their rib is cracked- and they have been shot in their baby toe.  They just keep on trucking.  I'm a conqueror!  I'm an overcomer!  Yeah!  You are!  Now SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE AND HEAL!  Because as they keep on trucking, they are leaving others unprotected, and injuring others along the way.  They don't want to limp alone- misery loves company.
Offense is a big deal in some churches.  People say all the time, "just get over it"... but if it were that easy, to "just get over it" - then it still wouldn't be running ramped.  "Just get over it", means "ignore it", but being honest with yourself is the best medicine you can take.
try saying this...
"Yes, this happen... Yes this offended me... Now Father, lets see what the real problem is... Help me to see their heart so that I won't carry this around.  I know the enemy is using this to cause me to feel rejected, but I don't receive that when I am the beloved of God"
I try hard to do right by others- but sometimes I slip- we all do.  Take the time to pray for someone who may be carrying offense because of you.  SOMETIMES... SOMETIMES things happen and its a misunderstanding.  Don't allow the misunderstandings of life put you in a box where you die...  Get it right - let it go- let it be- move forward...
Thats what I'm going to do anyway :)
Pray with me...
God, help me to release those that have offended me.  Help me to pray and see the truth of their heart through YOUR eyes so that I can honor them the way that you do.  I commit to being consistent with not believing the devil's lies about them.  Even if their actions say it's true- I only choose to believe what YOU believe about them.  I remain seated in heavenly places, and out of agreement with the lies of the enemy.  I will operate in reconciliation how I can.  No one owe's me ANYTHING.  No apology, no explanation, nothing.  I release all offense in Jesus name. I will NOT be held back by those that have rejected me.  Today I live in freedom, forgiveness, and offense free.
In Jesus Name...
AMEN.

Where Does Your Power Lie Part 2


Did you all like my Samson action figure???  I thought he was cute...  Here it is again...
He is looking all strong and stuff... LOL- okay- FOCUS!
If you haven't read part one of this post, you can click HERE and read it.
Lets roll...
So Samson decided that he wanted to go "see" his wife--- that was given away to his homeboy, and her father wouldn't let Samson up to the room.  He gets angry, goes and catches 300 foxes, ties them together in pairs, puts TORCHES on every tail, and lets them loose in the grain of the Philistines...
Where dey do dat at?
You have the ability, wit, strategy to catch 300 foxes?  Catch them and put torches on their tails?  Really Samson?  All because your father in law wouldn't let you see your wife that you gave away?
WOW- sounds a bit bully-ish to me... Samson went hard- and that was a bit ghetto...  But God still loved him.
So--- because he had their grain fields burned to the ground, the Philistines went to the house of Samson's wife and burned her and her father... DAG.
See people--- Violence- begets Violence...
It really never solves anything.
Samson clearly was always starting trouble with the Philistines - they were always trying to find ways to kill him.  What better way than to get him at his weakness- even though he seemed to not have any... He had one... WOMEN!
Samson fell in love with Delilah.  The leaders of the Philistines went to Delilah and told her to find his weakness.  Clearly sistah girl wasn't in love with Samson, because she agreed!  A million reasons why she did that...  Either way, no loyalty to Samson.  She began to ask Samson where does his strength come from.  He knows the routine, he tells her something that's not true- and she tries it on him, and yells, "The Philistines are upon you!"- they come out to attack, he breaks free and they get their butts whooped.
YET... Samson goes RIGHT back to Delilah... and repeats it again.  Samson had gotten to the place where he felt as if he were invincible.  He could do whatever he wanted to without consequence- and that's NOT okay.
Remember that if you are called of God, that accountability is going to be your best friend.  Everyone needs people in their lives that will tell them that they are not as great as they think they are.  Everyone needs someone who says, you know, you need to go check again to see if God really said that.  EVERYONE needs someone to pat them on the back and say, "Yeah- that was cute, but you missed the mark- try again".  EVERYONE NEEDS THAT!  It is sad when people began to cut others off that tell them the truth because they don't want to change.  It happens time and time again.  Be very careful that you don't allow yourself to be puffed up by the accolades of man, and you discredit anyone that tells you the that yes, "your poots do stink, and don't smell like roses and cherries"... LOL
When you refuse to be accountable, it can be the beginning of a slippery slope.
**Back to the story**
Samson knew all the time where his power was, but he didn't trust Delilah.  She finally begged and pleaded ((hadn't he been here before?))- and he told her the truth.  His strength was in his hair.  We know the rest of the story- she cut off those 7 long luscious locks hair, and yelled, "The Philistines are upon you!"- but this time, when he got up to attack, he was powerless....
SO MY QUESTION TO YOU IS ((finally))  ...
Where Does Your Power Lie?
Is it in your prayer time?
Is it your worship time?
Is it your time in the word?
Is it when you preach?
Is it when you witness?
Is it in your times of silence with God?
Is it when you dance, write, sing, play, paint, encourage, honor, motivate, care for others??
WHERE IS YOUR POWER?
Now, we know that the anointing destroys the yoke (Isaiah 10:27)- but what destroys YOUR yoke?  I know you can get up in front of the crowd and "shout the people"- or, "lead them to the throne of grace" or bring dynamic revelation to the word, or WHATEVER it is you do... But what is it that you do that brings you PERSONAL victory?
THAT my friend is where your power lies...  Of course, the source is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Great I am, Jesus, Yeshua.... NO QUESTION-- but He made you a specific way, for a specific task and to complete it with a specific set of skills and desires...
WHERE IS YOUR POWER?
See, I can see some of you thinking... As anointed, graced and called as you are- some of you really don't know.  You don't know what the thing is that does it for you.  You know what you do that sets others free- but you have no idea how to get your own deliverance.
Samson was smart- he KNEW his power was his strength.  Not his love life, not his negotiating skills- but his brute STRENGTH.  And he used it against the enemy, every chance he could.  So much so- that they set him up and came after him.
You do realize that you are a target?  A threat?
Is your picture on the most wanted list in the kingdom of darkness???  ((mine is-- LOL))
Don't let the enemy know where your power is... Don't play with it.  If you know what it is- stop compromising and playing games- because the moment he has the chance, he's gonna cut your hair off...
If you DON'T know where it is, you get your hair trimmed every day and don't even know it... LOL- stop going to the hair cuttery because you don't have a GPS!  Will you please get it together?!?!!?!
They gouged out Samson's eyes... Why?  Steal his vision, he won't know where he is going...
Does your vision seem a little blurry?  All over the place?  Don't know where you are, what your doing, where your going, or how you are getting there?  Are you just in Limbo?  Yet- you are operating in ministry for others??

You could have a buzz cut in the Spirit for all you know... LOL-- Where does your power lie?  I pray the story was helpful, but the question is real...  Find what God has given you to defeat the enemy of your people.  Find your victory.  FIND YOUR VICTORY.  Because the enemy is after it - BAD.. Don't lay down with dogs- you may get fleas, but you also may get bit! LOL
This could be YOU!
I'm being funny, but it's no laughing matter if you are getting your hair cut, laying down with dogs- thinking that you are gonna get up squeaky clean.  We thank GOD for grace... Samson had grace too...
Samson was taken captive and forced to perform in front of the Philistines.  See- don't allow the enemy to make a public spectacle of you - he wants to soooo bad... Don't give him that honor.  Samson's hair had started to grow back.  He asked someone to lead him to the pillars so he could rest.  Prayed and asked God for one last act of strength - so that he could finally destroy the Philistines.  The place where Samson was performing had all of the leaders and important people.. aaaaaalll in one place.
God had grace on Samson.  He pushed the pillars, the whole thing came down, killed all of the Philistines as well as Samson.
See... God had grace...  But do we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid (Romans 6:1).  I truly believe the will of God was done, the purpose of his birth was fulfilled- but... it could have happened another way...
Pray with me.
God, I need to be sure where my victory is.  I cannot look to others for a word or encouragement all the time, I need to know where my strength is.  Show me again Lord, and don't allow me to be deceived because of sin and carnality.  Help me to walk upright before you- desiring what you desire.  Help me to unleash never-ending pain on the kingdom of darkness.  I want the strength I have to be supernatural, and honorable.  I want to not just complete my earthly task, but do it with grace, honor, humility and a right path.  I want to enjoy life while defeating the kingdom of darkness.  Grow my spiritual hair again Lord.  I will use it for your glory.  I won't play with the enemies devices, because I know he wants me dead- and you have come to give life.  Thanks for another start,
In Jesus Name...
AMEN.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Where Does Your Power Lie?


Anyone that knows me, knows that I am known for my funny sayings... "Colloquialisms" if you must.  One thing I always say to someone who says something silly is, "Don't let the devil ride"... LOL
It comes from an old song, don't let the devil ride, because he's gonna wanna drive.  This statement, though I use it for humor cannot be more true.  To many times we play with the enemy, thinking that we can "get away" with stuff.  It's amazing how carnal we can be.  This is not a post to bash, I'm just proving a point-- ME INCLUDED... We think that God does not see- just because others don't see.  But God is gracious... and he ALWAYS sees EVERYTHING... O_o...
There is a story in the bible that is very familiar to us all.  The story of Samson and Delilah.  Samson was cocky, arrogant and prideful.  He was also anointed, called, chosen and a vessel for God to use.    You can read the story of SamsonHERE.  It is chapter 13- 16.  I will be using pieces of the story, but it is too much to try to quote.
Now don't get it twisted, I'm not hating on Samson at all.  He was chosen from birth.  His mother was told, have no wine or strong drink, and don't let a razor touch his head.  He was so special, that an ANGEL came and delivered the message of his birth...  Hmmm... we've heard THAT before... Isaac and Jesus are two that come to mind.  Two that changed the world.  Samson was given a supernatural strength for a specific task.  Samson  was called BEFORE birth to deliver Israel from the Phillistines.  BOTTOM LINE.
Samson had so much clout with God, that after he had taken a jawbone of a donkey and slew a thousand men, he cried to heaven and said, "So you've given me this great victory, JUST to die of thirst and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised?"- and God fills a hollow place with water...
You say WHAT now?
So it wasn't enough that God gives him supernatural strength.. Not enough that he took the JAWBONE of a donkey- and killed  A THOUSAND MEN...  But had the NERVE to be thirsty after- told God off, and God fills a hole with water???
LOL
I love it.
This passage shows the extent of the power of God operating through Samson.  He reached a level in his anointing that many Christians don't see today.  Is Samson special?  ABSOLUTELY!  Can God do that again?
DEFINITELY...
Something to think about...
I like Samson.  He realized something about himself that many of us long to understand.  He knew his specific purpose in life.  He knew it was BIG!  He also knew that there was no one else like him...  That was a good thing - but it also turned into his downfall.
When he married this girl, that was a Philistine, he knew that came with a risk.  He was marrying into the enemy's camp.  He gave them a riddle, and promised them a hefty prize for the answer.  Of course, they would have NEVER guess it - because it came out of Samson's personal experience.  His wife's family were bullies of course- and they told her that they would kill her if she didn't tell them the answer to the riddle.  So she cries ALL WEEK of the wedding feast, begged and begged Samson for the answer, laying all kinds of guilt trips on him so on and so forth... He finally tells her the answer, she betrays him, tells her family - and Samson has to deliver the prize.

I felt like i was watching a Soap Opera!
Her family comes to deliver the answer to the riddle, Samson says to them, If you hadn't plowed with my heifer, you would have not known the answer to my riddle...
THEN he goes to another town, strikes down 30 MEN and takes all of their stuff, and gives the garments of the slain men, to the family that solved the riddle...
SMH... lol
Well - Samson was like, bump this- and gave her to one of his boys... Because he wasn't trying to have someone living in his house that will just turn on him that easily.
WELL!  PART 2 is almost done... but I know for me- I wouldn't read all of this in one sitting.  PLUS!  you need something to look forward to right??? LOL- Make sure you click the share button at the bottom,  the lesson of all of this and how it relates to you will be tomorrow... trust me--- its GOOD!
GOD BLESS... and Keep the King First...
It's not a doll, its an action figure! LOL

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Power and Purpose of Disappointment: There is Hope

Hi all!  I know that I have readers on Blogger.com that I don't have on wordpress.com - so I have been advised to keep blogging on BOTH sites.  More sites to come in order to reach more people.  Here is the new blog.  God bless you for still following!


Hi all!
I am so sorry for being so absent.... WHEW! Is all I can say. 2011 has come in with major transition for our world, but I can say that it has come in with MAJOR transition for myself as well.  I have recently transitioned out of the ministry I was apart of for 5 years because I am moving soon to a new state.  I can honestly say, I have thought about blogging... EVERY--- DAY... Just didn't now how to put all of my life into words without being entirely TOO transparent but at the same time not saying what DIDN'T need to be said, if you know what I mean... LOL
WELL--Lets get started
I have had the honor and privilege being able to spend serious quality time with some people who are near and dear to my heart.  People that I saw on a regular basis, but because of the hustle and the bustle of life, you don't ever really slow down enough to hug and say... "How are you?"- and "Whats really going on?"--- or...  "Talk, I'm listening, not for advice, but just to listen".
What I have discovered is that there are more Christians dealing with disappointment and discouragement than a little bit.  They go to church and functions, and paint on a smile acting like everything is okay - when they feel that they are dying on the inside.   It was confirmed again as I was watching Mario Murillo on ibethel.tv, he depicted a meeting between the devil and his imps.   The imps say, "Lets send a girl, to try to distract him... Get him to fall".  The devil says---" no, he will just witness to her and win her soul to Jesus". The imps continue, "Lets send financial hardship".  The devil says--- "that won't work, he'll just use his faith".  Finally the imps say,  "Well lets send disappointment and discourage him".  The devil says to discouragement... "Yes, you go".
When hearing this story it just made so much sense.  Depending on how much of a worshipper you are, how much you really try to live a life for God and use your faith, discouragement and disappointment could be the strongest weapon the enemy uses against you.
I wrote a blog a couple of months ago called, "Don't Lose Hope"- You can click the title to read it.  It is just to encourage all of you all to continue to place your hope in God.  The truth is, life does have a habit of surprising us with stuff that can take us aback.  It's apart of life, it happens.  It can suck- but it does happen.
John 16:33 says this, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
TAKE HEART!  BE ENCOURAGED!  Jesus, our elder brother has overcome the world and the trouble that you will face.  It is important for us to remember this at our moments where we feel our lowest.
Some professions were not effected by the recession directly.  But there were so many business that closed because of it.  What do you do when you are in your mid 40's, been running your own business for 10-15 years, and now you have nothing.  Who will hire me at this age?  How will I pay bills?  What about insurance?  What if we get sick?
See, I know we holler in church, "WHAT RECESSION??"- but there were some that actually faced it head on, and some that barely survived.  Some didn't survive.  Some lost everything they owned because they chose to follow a dream at one time in their life.  They had no idea this day would come.
Be advised, when talking to someone who has lost everything, you have to be very particular with what you say.  "Be encouraged" will most likely make them mad!  *lets just be honest*.  Sometimes people, there is no advice to be offered, especially for someone who already knows that God is going to make a way.  Sometimes you just need to listen.  Sometimes knowing that God will make a way doesn't take away the pain of the moment.
I know I just lost all of my religious readers)))) LOL
Hit rock bottom, and let someone come preaching to you about how God is gonna make a way and see if you get invited back over... LOL.  It is absolutely correct that God will make a way.  It is absolutely true that God will provide, but we have to discerning enough and sensitive enough to the needs of the people and to the voice of God to know what is Rhema and what is Logos.  Bringing Logos can be powerful in the right timing, but when someone is at rock bottom, it is Rhema (the revelatory word of God) that will bring healing and soothing to the pain.
For those that feel that they have hit rock bottom, I'm not here to send a fire of words that will make you shout.  I just want you to know that there is power and purpose in your disappointment.  There is always hope, and you know that- without question, but I speak to your pain and the depth of your encouragement and I say LIVE...
Take your moment, cry your tears while you are holding on to God.  Because regardless of what those around you think, I know you haven't let go of God... You are just experiencing some difficulty.  Thank God for grace.
You will make it out of this.  You will see the light.  You will LIVE.  It may feel like the end, but it's not the end.  After you have had your moment, be sure that the enemy does not win.  Don't give him ANY glory by sitting in your disappointment.    ANY...  Reach out.  Let go of your pride and reach out and ask for help.  I don't mean from people who will just holler the word at you and tell you to pretend that nothing happened.  No, get around a some folks with a Rhema word.
Preachers say it, but it is TRUTH.  One word from God can change your life.  I pray that God opens your ears to hear the Rhema word, or sends someone who you trust to give you a Rhema word of God.  I know its possible, because it happened to me this week.  2011 has been a doozy for a sistah, I can't even lie.  I have dealt with a broken heart, disappointment, offense,  lies from saints, people with no integrity and people with NO discernment at ALL.  I mean, AT ALL.  All while God was showing me ME and trying to work on my heart.  After a while, it had started to weigh me down, was getting tougher and tougher as the days went on.  I spoke to a friend and her husband this week, and everything CHANGED.  Literally, all the weights, GONE.  All the distractions, QUIETED.  There is now peace.
I thank God because sometimes, most of the time, you won't know why you are experiencing certain things.  You may not know until years later why you experienced something.  But I thank God that He showed me this week why I had been experiencing these things.    Being seated in heavenly places will give you a perspective on your situation that you won't have when you are chillin' in the natural.
Ephesians 2:6, 7 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
So don't ever forget.  God wants you to LIVE.  You may feel at the bottom, or just as if there is no light- but trust, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  LIVE.  You can do it.  Have your moment, take it, but when it's over, get up and LIVE.  The enemy desires for you to move your belongings and make your permanent address Disappointment Drive.  Don't let him win.  Sometimes, you need to be motivated to do things because of your love for God and because of your relationship with Christ.  There are also times that will arise when you say, "You know what devil, I REFUSE to let you win".
I heard a pastor say a couple of weeks ago,
There is a difference between being hurt, and being injured.  If you are hurt in the game, you take a second, because you got the wind knocked out of you --- may have to sit out for a few minutes so you can regain your focus.  Let the pain lessen.  But when you get back in the game, you are more violent than ever because you have to prove that you can't be taken down.  But there is a complete difference when someone gets injured in a game.  Playing a game, and a rib gets cracked, a tendon torn or a bone broken, it is idiotic to try to to continue to play.  It doesn't make you a weak player because you get medical attention, and take the necessary measures to have your injury tended too.
Please know the difference saints.  Please know the difference when you are just hurt- or injured.  There are so many injured people playing in this game- and they are putting other people in danger of being injured because they don't recognize themselves that they are injured.  Stop acting like nothings wrong and deal with your issues- because others are suffering from it...
(That last line was for free) LOL
Pray with me...
Lord, I admit that there are some disappointments in my life that have left me discouraged.  It has made it difficult to pray, to read, to worship, to go to church or even to fellowship.  (Fill in what it has made hard to do for you)  I know that there is power and purpose and disappointment, that you are working things out, even if I don't always understand it.  I refuse to let the devil win this one.  Just because I need a time out- doesn't mean that I am out of the game.  Thank you for being seated in heavenly places so that I can get your perspective.  I know that you love me, and want the best for me.  Help me to see through your eyes, and not through the eyes of hurt, pain, doubt, logic or reason.  I want to see through your eyes of love.  I will take it one day, and one moment at a time.  Each day and moment with YOU.
In Jesus Name,
Amen