Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Power of Love Languages
Love languages are very key to functional relationships. I have been talking to some people who know more about the subject than I do, and feel it necessary to share what I have learned. There are 5 love languages. I will put the description of each language below. This information comes straight from the website--- below the test, I will talk about what happens when you don't receive love in your particular language.
Read over them, take the test and then come back and read the rest of it!!!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
So now, you have read the descriptions... Do you think you know what yours is??? Go ahead and take the test, and we will meet back here shortly!
Is your love language what you thought it was?? Good information right?? It's also good for others to know this about you - so they won't keep hugging you to show you love when acts of service touches your heart more than anything. Now, love languages are NOT just for marriage/boyfriend, girlfriend relationships. They are for family roles, friendships, coworkers, ministry and everywhere else you interact with people on a consistent basis.
Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, that doesn't mean it is someone who is seeking out a compliment. If this is you and you don't properly receive it as a child, it can cause wounds. A child with this love language can recover easily from living an impoverished life if they have loving affirming parents. Verbally abusing a person with this love language does great damage. Thank God that he is a healer, but it will take reprogramming, new behaviors and the word of God to reteach the person who they really are.
Quality Time: If this is your love language, and you don't properly receive it as it child, it can cause insecurity and abandonment issues. A person whose love language is quality time can't handle a parent that works two jobs and weekends. Having nice things without parents don't mean much to them. Dysfunctional families are a detriment to a person with the love language of quality time. This is because the time spent together is spent in dysfunction, which will warp the perception of what quality time means. God gives us our love language, we don't decide it; and just because you don't receive it correctly doesn't make it change.
Receiving Gifts: As stated above, someone who has this as a love language isn't materialistic or a gold digger. It's just their love language. A child with this love language can live in a family that is well to do and have nice things, have absent parents and not be AS affected as a child with affirmation or quality time as their love language. Gifts can be small thoughtful tokens of appreciation. Something that shows that you put thought and effort into it. Simple things that say, "You thought about ME".
Acts of Service: This is not a person that desires a slave, but doing small things that help them out really shows you love them. A child that has this love language will thrive in an environment where a parent or sibling will ask them if they need help with their homework. A mother that has this love language will love a husband that meets her at the car when she has gotten groceries without asking. Coming home and the house is clean without being prompted- things like sing sweet melodies in the ear of someone with this love language.
Physical Touch: A person with this love language is touchy feely. We all know those people. They are huggers! A child who has this love language and is physically abused will take longer to recover than a child who has another love language. They will recover because God is a healer, but touch equates to love- bad touch or good touch. The mind, the body and the emotions will have to be retrained to understand that bad touch or being hit- doesn't mean love.
NOW! If you know your love language, and did not receive love in your love language, there is always hope. This was not to point out what is "WRONG" with life, this is to maybe help answer questions of why certain things can't heal, or why certain things bother you. It is extremely important to know your love language. It is important for those around you to know your love language. It will only enhance your relationships. Oh to be loved how you were designed! Wouldn't that be awesome???
Don't fault the people who love you like they need to be loved. They may love you according to THEIR love language, and just need to learn that we are all different. I think that in the church this is something that is necessary. We talk, treat, and preach to everyone as if they can receive and love the same, and they can't. Pass this information on to your coworkers, your families, close friends and even your enemies-- LOL...
Pray With Me.
God, thank you for creating me so unique. Thank you for revealing my love language so that I can know how I should be loved. Thank you that YOU speak my love language! I pray that you help me to love others according to their love language. Help me to enhance my relationships by using this tool so that they are functional.
In Jesus Name...
*****coming soon, the APOLOGY LANGUAGE! Did you know that there was such a thing? WOW! When I found mine out, it made "me" make so much sense! LOL- This is very important in relationships- to know your apology language. Powerful stuff..
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God Bless! And Keep the King First...