What Christmas Really Means…
Grace had been working a double shift for the past two
months trying to prepare for Christmas.
Every time she felt she had the money to go get the kids some presents,
something else “came up”. You
know, those things that always come up…. Groceries, light bill, RENT. Grace never seem to be able to keep her
head above water, let alone have money to buy gifts.
Grace
had awesome kids, Elizabeth, Lizzy
for short and Leah. Lizzy and Leah
were very responsible, very loving, and very accepting kids. They knew the struggles their mother
endured, but they accepted it.
They smiled, and would always comfort Grace when she came home from a
double shift and say, “mom, it won’t be like this always, God will see us
through”… It was funny, it was the same thing that Grace would tell them when
their dad wouldn’t send money like he was supposed too.
Richard
was a son of a preacher, and married.
But not married to their mother.
They were both born out of an affair, so Lizzy and Leah never knew what
it felt like to have a real father… They only had a secret father. Grace kept allowing Richard to come
around because he promised her that he was going to leave his wife, year, after
year, after year… But he never did.
Richards wife was pregnant the same time that Grace was pregnant with
Leah. Richard promised that as
soon as the baby was old enough, and the wife went back to work, he was going
to leave her. But he never
did. But the married men never
do. Instead, Richard got a
promotion, moved his family out of state, changed his number, closed his email
account – and made sure that Grace would not find a way to contact him. The kids haven’t seen him since he
left. Four years ago...
Grace
worked so hard and felt like her body and her mind was shutting
down. The only thing she
considered was Christmas. What was
she going to get the girls for Christmas?
They were 8 and 6, and managed the home so well. Staying home alone after they get home
from school, Lizzy microwaving dinner for the both of them until Grace came home at
10 oclock, Lizzy made sure all of the homework was completed, and that Leah got
in the bed on time. Thank God for Ms. Anne, their neighbor who would watch the girls come in from the bus, and would check on them through out the evening. A lot of
responsibility for a 10 year old.
Grace knew she had no choice but to make sure that the girls got what
they wanted, they had been through enough.
Its
now the week before Christmas and Grace realizes that she just doesn’t have the
money to get the girls anything.
She’s sitting in her room crying, contemplating the next step. She knows that real money is just a
phone call away, she can call her ex – Shon – a drug dealer- and tell him what
she needs for the girls, and she will have it hands down – but she also knows
that she will owe a debt to Shon that she is not willing to pay. Grace sits on the side of her bed
weeping – knowing that she has put her self in this predicament. She has caused it. Against better judgment and advice and
warning from the Lord himself, she got involved with a man she knew would never
love her, knew would never be the man that he was supposed to be but all she
knew was that she wanted to be loved… Or have some semblance of it.
Grace
goes back and forth, not knowing what to do, call Shon and end up owing him
something and getting back involved with a life she fought to leave – or not be
able to pay her girls back for all that she put them through. There has to be a way. Grace spends her night, praying
and crying, contemplating, reaching for the phone, dialing the number, hanging
up. Finally – she goes to sleep….
Only to be awakened by the touch of a gentle hand on her
shoulder – she turns around to see a man standing over her. She gasps, but for some reason--- is
not afraid….
(part 2 tomorrow)
